I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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