No stitches, just platelets and will power
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's shark week go big or go home
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
