he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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