The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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