Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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