so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
