That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
