I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
