Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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