Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
