just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
