why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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