And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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