I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
