WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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