Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
