Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
