oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
