I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
