I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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