How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
