so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
