Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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