Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
