All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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