i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
