Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
