You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
