I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Panties = found
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
