Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
