Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
