Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.

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(760): View more from California

If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.

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(914): View more from New York

I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

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(254): View more from Texas

Are we hungover?

(713): View more from Texas

I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.

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(586): View more from Michigan

My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?

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(314): View more from Missouri

i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.

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