Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
