its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize