my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
