Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Enjoy the penises
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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