it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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