I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
