11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
