soooo we both peed the bed last night...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
