addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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