she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
