I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
