She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
