Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
