Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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