why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Less talking, more tequila
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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