Got a toothbrush?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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