i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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