when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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