Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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