at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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