He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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