Please, let me fuck your mom
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
