i just wanna soil my oats bro
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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