I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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