Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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