Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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