I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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