you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
