Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
