I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
